Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
