What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have already put on my inside pants.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
