Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
love makes seman taste better
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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