Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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