Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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