Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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