i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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