I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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