he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
