"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
whose parrot is this?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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