Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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