he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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