is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you didnt know i had herpes?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
