You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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