well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
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i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
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"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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