There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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