man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize