I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
