whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
