I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i drank out of a bidet.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
