we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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