By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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