i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
