This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
