Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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