No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize