and you said cock pushups were impossible
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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