Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
