guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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