Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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