Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I want to fling myself into the sun
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
