You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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