yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
