he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize