they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
