All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
