Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize