How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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