Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
