Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
