DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
