Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
