he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I have fence marks all over my body
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