At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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