that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
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Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
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The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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