And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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