"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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