Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize