I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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