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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?