Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
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It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
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I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel