After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
someone owes me an orgasm
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...