He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
