im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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