wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
