Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
