it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
