All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
