Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
