think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
