Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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