i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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