$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
