Girls should come with a carfax report
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
